It’s been a hard year. In fact, a 2023 poll found that nearly 60% of Americans believe the past year has been the most stressful of their entire lives. Americans are stressed about finances, about their mental and physical health, and about the state of the world.
CHECK IN
One of the difficult things about going through something hard is that often people around you don’t know what to say. They may even avoid you, precisely when you could most use support. One way to help others is merely to give them some room to talk. Start with “How are you?” Then follow their lead. They may not want to open up, and that’s fine. Keep checking in periodically to demonstrate that you care. If they do choose to share something, listen. Give them your full attention, and try not to offer suggestions or attempt to reframe what they’re feeling.
ACKNOWLEDGE
We often overlook one of the most helpful and easy strategies for supporting others in hard times: acknowledging that they’re going through something difficult. This is important on both an individual and group level. In a one-on-one meeting, you could say, “I’m so sorry about everything you’re going through,” or “You’ve been through quite a lot over the past month.”
In a staff email or a team meeting, you could, for instance, acknowledge that the violence in Israel and the Palestinian territories is awful and distressing, or—closer to home—that recent upheavals in your organization can make it difficult to focus. When we’re at work, we may feel that we shouldn’t mention problems unless we have a solution for them. As leaders, though, sometimes acknowledging the issue is a salve in itself.
BE FLEXIBLE
Now, more than ever is a time to have low expectations. Think through what is actually essential and what can be done later, in a cursory way, or not at all. This is true for everything from work projects to the annual holiday gift exchange. Importantly, let others know whether what you are asking of them is optional or not. What may be obvious to you may not be obvious to others.
These are tips all of us can use not only with those we know are struggling but with everyone on our team. You may have no idea who is facing a challenge at any given time. As the quote goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Thus, check in even on the team member who smiles a lot; when chatting about plans over lunch or coffee, perhaps acknowledge that the holidays can be hard sometimes; and don’t pressure a colleague to attend a holiday party that they may be dreading for reasons unknown to you.
The steps we take now to support our colleagues can make a tremendous impact, both by acknowledging individuals who are struggling and by building a work culture that is inclusive and compassionate. It’s worth the effort.
